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31/01/2020 at 11:28am

Almost falling over with joy he called his cowardly secretary, Mrs Arch, who stumbled over, constantly coughing into a flower-embroidered grubby handkerchief.

“Send 10 of my best men to this location,” he rasped, confidently passing her a piece of paper with the exact whereabouts of Taylor Smith, his arch enemy “Make sure they are all armed and have capable means of transport.” Mrs Arch, muttering something incomprehensible under her breath, obediently backed out curtseying. An evil grin was plastered across his vampire-like face at the thought of Taylor, in prison, pleading to be let out, defeated.

*                  *                  *

Stomach churning and head thumping I roared up a narrow uneven country lane towards a place I recognised (from ages ago): Cribs-Causeway, to continue my search for home. I struggled to find somewhere to sleep tonight, maybe a bus shelter or an abandoned house, however it was going to be hard. Hopefully Marvo, as determined as he was, wouldn’t find me here.

 Last night was a waste of time; I wished I could have had a better sleep as I had to make a devious plan if I was to capture my worst and only enemy red-handed. Slowly but surely I formed a simple but, hopefully, effective plot to show Marvo as who he truly was to his fellow comrades, and to the police. Now all I had to do was get to the location: the Mall.

Chapter 4


Bleeping, the G.P.S device lead the convoy of jet-black Audi Q7’s as they rolled into Cribs-Causeway, the destination where it showed Taylor was. However it would take them valuable time to search the sea of seemingly unending expensive shops and fancy restaurants containing only a few of the last wide-eyed diners as the  big, rough henchmen and leader trooped past arousing suspicious looks.

“The mall will be closing in 2 minutes,” said a voice over the loudspeaker. As they heard this news they silently crept into a massive Sports Direct, hiding amongst the looming towers of brand-new pristine shoes. A few minutes later two sleep-deprived security guards failed to notice 11 unusually large piles of slanted shoe boxes as they chatted to each other about how boring their jobs were!

*                        *                         *

Sweating with worry I edged towards the fire exit at the back of the eerie, silent, aside from a few creaks and muffled footsteps; it was a ghost town. This was where my plan was to take place and my body was trembling under the pressure of getting this right, I didn’t know what would happen if I didn’t. I would probably go to prison.  I could only assume my fate and I was shaking at the thought of possible death! Suddenly two heavily-built swaggered confidently across the gloomy car park, only illuminated by one flickering light, not noticing the missing keys and security pass from their sagging belts.

As I swiftly dropped the glittering keys into my pocket, after opening the fire escape and cautiously creeping in, I heard a clank of metal against metal and decided to investigate. I pulled out a cylindrical-shaped miniscule tracking device. ‘Very clever,’ I thought to myself as I smashed it under my foot and chucked the remains into an overflowing bin, ‘but not clever enough!’

                                                            *                  *                 *

Shrugging the piles of un-bought shoes of themselves and sending them crashing to the floor, they followed the G.P.S to where Taylor, apparently, was. Unfortunately for them the bleeping stopped dead and there was silence… obviously Taylor had found the small concealed tracking device and had disposed of it. “Drat!” Marvo bellowed kicking a display “, you, you,” he said pointing a bony finger at two of the biggest men and told them to find the last location that the tracker said Taylor was.

Just as the two bulky men passed out of sight a crackling, familiar voice boomed out over the speakers, “Dear, oh dear: I have beaten you again, Marvo. I suppose you want to kill me? Ha ha ha!”  There was an awkward silence. “Do you remember those tests? You were a desperate insignificant Guinea Pig!” Marvo’s eyes filled with unquenchable hatred as he failed to control his raging anger.

                                                           *                     *                  *

Laughing bitterly I crashed though the fire escape, which I had used to sneak into the building earlier, with the two big men in hot pursuit. Unfortunately these men had not heard the unbelievable, horrible truth about the dirty deceiving . . . thing they thought was an ordinary police officer. As I bolted past the empty, leaning shack I slipped a sharp hunting knife out of my ragged pocket. After whizzing past my battered head two bullets slammed into the corrugated shed and the noise echoed across the desolate parking plot as I discreetly hurled the knife round the opposite side of the shack slicing a rope in half which held up the whole structure. Fortunately I managed to make it out in time. The two policemen didn’t. They got flattened by the bulky steel sheets. Spotting my hunting knife glinting in the moonlight I grabbed it and smashed the window of a lonesome Mercedes c-class. I didn’t want to commit a crime but I had to do it if I was to get away without a scratch; well less than I would get if I stayed! Speeding, I careered into the distance towards the reclusive countryside of Gloucestershire in search of my true home . . .

 Leave a comment on which of these you want to happen next:

A: Marvo gets captured.

B: Marvo escapes and continues to search for Taylor.

C: Marvo escapes but stops searching for Taylor.

We will write about the option that gets the most comments. 

Thank you all for commenting last week! Enjoy!   

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Mr Jones on 12 Jan 13 at 6:20pm | Quote this comment
Leo and Hayden - I think that this is your best entry so far! You are really playing with the language that you use and smashing our layered targets in the process. Thank you both for finishing it in your own time.

I am definitely voting for B, I want the chase to continue!
Comment 2 Comment by Mrs Arnold on 13 Jan 13 at 8:44pm | Quote this comment
Excellent writing Hayden and Leo - it can't end yet! I also vote for B!
Comment 3 Comment by Mr Ryan on 14 Jan 13 at 1:46pm | Quote this comment
Boys - this is panning out beautifully. The switch between 'the person' (1st and 3rd) is really effective now and I like how you use the asterisks to denote when this is happening. Brilliant vocabulary and turns-of-phrase. More please!

Oh, and 'B'.... clearly!
Comment 4 Comment by Edward L on 14 Jan 13 at 6:59pm | Quote this comment
I'm amazed.. how to explain that I will never know! That's fantastic, how do you do it? :-*
I read that 3 times just for pleasure.
I vote B (of course!)
cant wait for chapter 5/6
oh, don't let me see it at school I'm desperate but don't let me!
Comment 5 Comment by Esme K on 14 Jan 13 at 8:41pm | Quote this comment
It's an amazing story so far and iam voting for b :D
Comment 6 Comment by Joseph M on 14 Jan 13 at 9:04pm | Quote this comment
Amazing writing can't wait for the next bit but i will have to wait for chapter 5/6 and i vote for b of course. ;-)
Comment 7 Comment by Evie P on 15 Jan 13 at 5:28pm | Quote this comment
I pick B- Marvo escapes and continues to search for Taylor. 8) i realy enjoy reading your writing i cant wait 'til the next part!!!
Comment 8 Comment by Sarah C on 15 Jan 13 at 8:31pm | Quote this comment
It's an AWESOME storie and i have to vote for b :lol:
Comment 9 Comment by Denny P on 16 Jan 13 at 4:38pm | Quote this comment
I think b is the best choice because if marvo isent chaesing him it would be less tense
Comment 10 Comment by Lexie T on 18 Jan 13 at 7:18am | Quote this comment
:lol: That was really good I pick b

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