'Countdown' - chapter 4 & 5 by Leo & Hayden

Chapter 4

At exactly 7:00pm he turned up. In a shadow-ridden side alley, Marvo waited leaning against the slimy wall. He was confident that he would soon get Taylor, after all that had happened. Dressed in a long charcoal-black overcoat, not only to protect him from the bitter wind but also to prevent prying eyes from seeing who he was, the colonel arrived.

“You better be paying good money for this.” he hissed his eyes darting around nervously.

“Oh yes. I will. In good time. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs for the rest of the police to follow; I want you to take them to Canada.”


For hours the light at the end of the tunnel had not got any closer. It was now. As I staggered the final few metres I cried out in joy: I had nearly made it. However, my happiness did not last long. Searing light blinded my eyes even though I was shielding them from it. Slowly, I pushed myself forwards nearing the end…


Sweat poured down his face in tidal waves; every now and then he made jerky movements as if trying to shield his face from something. Frozen to the spot, I just watched: nobody could do much to stop him. Doctors franticly rushed about, strapping weird tubes to his body, trying desperately to keep him alive…

His eyes suddenly flickered open as his mouth stretched into a maniacal grin, he had made it! Looking up he noticed that there were several doctors stood in turquoise overalls, there backs turned to him. He thought he would play around and stood up swaying from side to side. As he steadied himself he stumbled towards them, and then with a heavy hand he tapped them – the doctors – lightly on the shoulders.

“Hello,” he croaked and made a slightly wonky smile. I, who was mid conversation, blinked slowly before running over and giving him a slightly awkward hug.

“I thought you were going to die on me!”

“Never. Not without putting up a fight.” He replied

Remembering I had to tell him something, I ushered him out of the room. This was going to be bad.

Chapter 5

Taylor did not take it well. He was even worse than me. After spending 3 days in bed, refusing to let anyone see him, he came out. His hands trembled as he opened the door. Whatever it was like for me, it was worse for him. He told me to pack my bags (well whatever I had) and be ready to leave in 15 minutes. I did what I was told.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

He did not answer the question just said in an emotionless voice “Follow me.”

What had changed inside him? Was he going to be like this forever more? I wouldn’t know. Obediently, I went with him, he wouldn’t do something to put us both in danger; he was someone I could trust. His mouth was set in a grim line of determination as he pressed on, leaning into the buffeting wind. I struggled to catch up with him: he normally would wait and help me. On a mission he walked down the winding road, hills blocking my view. Where were we going? As we reached the top of the hill, I realized that this place looked familiar. Creasing my brow I remembered where I had seen it before; having raced down here just a week ago only just in control of the car. We were heading back to Taylor’s fathers mansion.

As we came near to the Ric’s prized garage filled with his priceless set of sleek cars, Taylor began to stroll casually towards a Maserati GranTurismo hiding in the corner. Suddenly, breaking into a lightning sprint, he vaulted the car door and revved the engine. Silently he pointed at the green button mounted on the wall and serving as the switch to open the newly replaced doors. When I pressed it the metal ‘shield’ whirred in to life. However I watched in horror as he sped out of the garage. The moment after that I was relieved to see him screech to a surprising halt. After jumping in we roared off into the distance, the last rays of sunlight glinting off ‘our’ car…

We are not doing questions as we have not had enough replies. Enjoy! 

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Mr Jones on 19 Apr 13 at 1:12pm | Quote this comment
Boys, we shall be using this next week to highlight how we use colons and semi colons in our writing effectively. Again, some absolutely fantastic work.

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