A modernized fairy tale.

I was feeling absolutely rubbish that summer’s evening. My horrible, good-for-nothing family wouldn’t buy me a disco ticket! Instead I had to complete my endless list of chores. Yay. I thought I may as well start with my sister’s already spotless room. I went over to it and rapped on the door… no-one answered. I pushed it open and was beginning to dust the dustless wood of my sister’s bedside table when something pink and flashy caught my eye. It was a pink disco ticket. My sister must have gone out and forgotten to take it! Quickly I shoved it in my pocket. On the way out I glanced in the mirror. I had hazel-brown hair cut into waves. My features were square but I looked OK.

At the disco, I started to ask myself, “Was this such a good idea?” My sister was bound to come back and find it missing. “Stop,” my brain said, “just enjoy it.” I entered the room, the beat pounding in my ears, lights flashing in front of me. And then I spotted the boy I fancied. Davy Jones. He was sooo good looking! Yet because I was so shy I stayed away. I stood there, gazing dreamily at him, for just a minute. And then my eyes found the time. Half past six. Gulp. I had to cook tea. I stumbled, losing my shoe in the process. I couldn’t find my purse. I ran all the way home.
But little did Cindy know that Davy Jones had picked up her shoe but he didn’t say, “Alas, whoever this shoe fits shall be my queen!”, because this isn’t a fairy tale. Oh, no. He said, “I’ll stick this in los’ proper’y.” However he was going to return her purse…

When I got home I was greeted by a telling off from my Mum and a punch from my sister. I wanted my life to end at that point. In the morning the doorbell rang. I opened it glumly. It was Davy Jones. “ You missed your chance at the disco, so why not now?” said my brain. So, optimistically I asked, “W..w..will g..go out w..with” He said, “No. I ‘ame to re’urn y’r p’rse. Ya dropped i’.” He left me there with a slightly bemused look on his face. I thought to myself, “ Why me?” 

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Mr Bailey on 24 May 12 at 3:07pm | Quote this comment
Wow Ben this is one of the most amazing pieces of writing I have ever had the privilege of posting on our class blog. I love how creative it is, how imaginative it is and how you've successfully 'magpied' other authors ideas to create you own story. Ben, 5 words: Level Six here we come!
Comment 2 Comment by Chloe B on 24 May 12 at 8:07pm | Quote this comment
Well done Ben if I had to describe you work with one word it would be outstanding! :lol:
Comment 3 Comment by Mrs Goodship on 25 May 12 at 3:06pm | Quote this comment
Keep up the hard work Ben! You are a talented writer. :D
Comment 4 Comment by Rachel H on 25 May 12 at 3:32pm | Quote this comment
The only word i can say Ben is wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :D
Comment 5 Comment by Ben S on 03 Jun 12 at 6:35pm | Quote this comment
Thanks for all the comments,I really enjoyed writing this and hopefully I've inspired other people to write too! Credit to Mr Bailey( for reminding me to check it ), as half of the story would have been gone without the edititing process he gave me, Mrs Galvin for helping me with speech marks and my Dad, who made me keep going, even when I was nearing madness. I'm working on an other story as I write this so watch out for that on the blog!
So,to all the people who have helped me, appluaded me and even critisised me,Thanks.
Comment 6 Comment by Lucy B on 08 Jun 12 at 2:17pm | Quote this comment
I absolutely love the story Ben! :lol: Keep up the good work!!! :roll:

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