The Getaway

As the bullets echoed round the old, tired building, I ran towards the un-guarded exit, hoping to make it out alive. Men with ammo-filled guns charged out towards me. “Why did I get myself into this mess?” I thought miserably, “Why did I agree to this?” 

I ran out the prison-like warehouse, and darted down a cold, dark alleyway, the dogs were chasing after me, wanting my body… dead or alive. The soul-sucking hounds followed me as I flung myself round the sharp corner straight into a dead end! The walls surrounded me. It felt like they were caving in on me, as the guards, and their dogs, cornered me.

I tried to jump over the barbed wire fence behind me. After a few scary seconds, I managed to scramble up the wall and into safety. At least until the guards found me! I put up shelter round the back of pizza express, hoping they wouldn’t look there.

In the morning I knew it was safe. So I quickly escaped, and I ran towards my lair. Just as I turned the next corner I bumped into the fuming guards and their furious hounds. Barking and vicious, the dogs charged after me, like a pack of wolves. Following my every move. Not letting me out of their sight.

I dashed into the forest hoping the dogs would lose my scent, but the hounds ran faster then ever. I darted round the tall twisted trees, taking sharp turns into the depths of the woods. By now the dogs were getting tired but would not give up! They were always right behind me, if I stopped for just one second I would surely die. Round corners, down paths, through thorn bushes, if I had too! The vicious monsters would never stop. But then I saw a light; it was the way out of the forest. I sprinted towards the sun-lit exit, using up most of my precious energy. I ran for my life (at least, if I was still going to live). I turned the corner; there in front of me were the nasty guards. They looked angrier than ever. Their eyes were bulging and their teeth were sharp. They grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back to the old abandoned warehouse. Four big angry men with guns pinned me up against the wall. “Give us the diamond!” the toughest looking man screamed ferociously in my face. 

“Never!” I yelled.

They aimed their guns at me, "Give us the diamond or suffer!” the other guys demanded fiercely, their revolting breath reeked of stale alcohol and cigarettes.

I handed over the priceless crystal-clear diamond.

“BANG!” The gun fell to the floor.

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Mr Herring on 23 Feb 12 at 8:30pm | Quote this comment
Brilliant Lucy - you have clearly spent time and thought crafting this short story. I enjoyed the fact that it contains a mixture of sentence starters and lots of good description, all of which contributes to a gripping read - well done!

Just a couple of very small growing greens:

1) Could you choose another powerful verb (e.g. barked, snarled, cried) to replace one of the 'screamed' towards the end of your story?
2) I wonder whether 'old cheese and rotten eggs' fit with the mood of your story? I would perhaps change it to 'stale alcohol and cigarettes' - what do you think?
Comment 2 Comment by Lauren J on 24 Feb 12 at 9:27am | Quote this comment
This is great Lucy I love the averbs you use-there great ! :lol:
Comment 3 Comment by Alfie G on 24 Feb 12 at 9:39am | Quote this comment
Great story Lucy i love how you described the Hounds as soul-sucking. :lol:
Comment 4 Comment by Simon A on 24 Feb 12 at 9:46am | Quote this comment
Brilliant story Lucy, I loved how you left it on a cliffhanger ending!

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