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Oliver Twist - Oliver gets shot

As Oliver falls down the steep staircase landing centimetres in front of the oak door, Bill runs quickly away escaping down a horse - driven road from the owners of the stone brick house where he had tried to burgle last night. As Oliver faints laying in pain, the owners threw him into a giant ditch. Minutes later the police arrive helping Oliver get up from the ditch.

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Comment 1 Comment by Mr Jones on 02 Dec 12 at 12:07pm | Quote this comment
Some excellent alliteration in your scene, Rufus "steep staircase".
Think about how you could have kept the tense the same in this sentence:
As Oliver faints laying in pain, the owners threw him into a giant ditch.

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