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Down the mine

mine worker

In our English lessons we have been looking at historical fiction.  We have been concentrating on describing the character and the setting through using adventurous vocabulary, adjectives, adverbs and powerful verbs (some of us have even been using similes and metaphors to enhance our description).

 

Can you write a paragraph to describe this miner working down in a coal mine.  Use your experience at the Big Pit, to help you. 

Remember that our layered targets were to:

Bronze - describe the character

Silver - describe the character and the setting

Gold - describe the character interacting with the setting (eg He stared at his hallow tear-stained eyes in the broken, cracked mirror)

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Evie P on 17 Nov 12 at 8:18am | Quote this comment
In the dirty coal mine a disguised boy was laying in a half meter high tunnel. He was cutting coal from the damp wall but he was cutting his own elbows and knees at the same time. He wasn’t covered very well. All he was wearing was a t-shirt, boots and some trousers. :-)
Comment 2 Comment by Rufus W on 17 Nov 12 at 11:21am | Quote this comment
Hundreds of years ago many men would work 12 hours every day constantly working chopping up pieces of black coal. The man has black coal smudged on tip of his sore red nose. his job is cutting down the coal from the walls of the mine, which he hated doing as he often would get hurt as the roof would fall on top of his head. He could not shave as he did not have time and did not have money to buy anything to cut his beard.
Comment 3 Comment by Hayden B on 17 Nov 12 at 3:46pm | Quote this comment
Black, glittering jewels were all around me in the confined, claustrophobic tunnel, held up only by weak, wooden supports. Lonesomely I hacked away at the unforgiving rock that could crush a miners life in ten seconds! I wiped the stardust-like substance from my sweaty face, pain etched across it as I struggled to continue doing my tedious, unrewarding job. Gaping holes, made by sharp, unnoticed pieces of coal, appeared in my ragged clothes as I shuffled hesitantly around in the tunnel. Unhelpfully I kept having to check the ever-weakening supports and, sometimes, replace them. Annoyingly this job was as dangerous as suicide(hundreds of people died every day) and you got paid almost nothing- who knew when I would die?
Comment 4 Comment by Mr Jones on 17 Nov 12 at 3:57pm | Quote this comment
Hayden, you have smashed the Gold Layered Target. Beautiful description to create a real atmosphere.
Comment 5 Comment by Natasha W on 18 Nov 12 at 10:56am | Quote this comment
Black, sparkiling diamonds were all around the dusty dark tunnel i longed to see the daylight again the cold was numbing my bones. I brushed the falling roof dirt of my ragged dull clothing.The roof nearly colapsed. its was a dangerous job, i hated the fact that i had to be down there for hours ! i had holes in my boots . Unhelpfully i had hardly any room to mine since most of the tunnles were boarded up i had no where to go all i could do is mine more to make more space. you got as much money as to be one meal for your whole family. mabye i would die? would anyone notice?
Comment 6 Comment by Dylan W on 18 Nov 12 at 10:59am | Quote this comment
I was in the low shaft lying down on the rotten wet ground with old bits of coal and diamonds around me
I was digging into the wall with my pickaxe getting coal.I longed to see the daylight,get out of the dark old cramped mine. I shuffled into a old tunnel hacking away coal and diamonds in ragged,rotten,old clothes and boots struggling to breathe i wiped the sweat and dust off of my face who knows when I would get out!? A support beam cracked and fell I was scared the roof colapsed who know if i would lose my life?....I was gutted as I thought "im only being paid 1 pence a day and I will lose my life trying to feed me and my family"
Comment 7 Comment by Syd R on 18 Nov 12 at 4:11pm | Quote this comment
In the dark, black, tunnel I heard the distant sound of rats squeaking and the damp bits of coal crunching under my feet.My candle had been blown out by a gust of wind so I was relying on my sense of smell and feeling.Just when my eyes got used to the dark I remembered I had left my snack-box back at the stables.Luckily I knew that some thing like this would happen so I had left a trail of dark,wet coal.I turned around and the floor had millions of little trails of coal!Well,at least I had brought a small piece of cheese with me!
Comment 8 Comment by Jake H.R on 18 Nov 12 at 5:09pm | Quote this comment
A struggling, frightened boy, only the age of seven, was forced to go in one of the most dangerous parts of the coal mine. His dirty old trousers were stained with scarlet coloured blood which dripped from his knees as he crawled along the spiky rocks in a tunnel that became smaller the further he went. He wished that he could get out of the mine as soon as he possibly could to be home in front of the fire. :o
Comment 9 Comment by Oliver W on 18 Nov 12 at 6:08pm | Quote this comment
Frozen and frightened, I continuously took large, bulky chunks out of the dingy darkness. My face was covered in a shadowy paint as sweat dripped onto the dusty floor. Weak, unstable wooden beams spread across the ceiling, like a grubby spiders web, trying to hold up the tonnes of coal stacked on top of it. The candle went out. Petrified by the darkness that surrounded me, I screamed for help – but no one heard, so no one came. Was I stuck down here forever?
Comment 10 Comment by molly w on 18 Nov 12 at 7:20pm | Quote this comment
The minor treacherously reached out his hand calculating the safest part of the dangerous mine, to grab the coal without it collapsing on top of him. A bead of sweat trickled down his grubby forehead from his intense concentration of his task. The mine groaned it gave away up his precious treasure sending dust into the minors face. He blinked frantically to move the debris to the corner of his stinging eyes. He placed
the piece of coal into the trough in readiness of the mine cart's arrival. In the flickering candle light he turned to face the mine walls again.
Comment 11 Comment by Oliver D on 18 Nov 12 at 8:24pm | Quote this comment
It was as cold as a frosty morning in winter down that mine, and as dark as the pitch-black midnight sky. The young boy must have been around 7, maybe 8 years old, as he crawled crab-like through the narrow, twining and grim passage, relentlessly chipping away at the wall of stardust-like substance, just to earn a pittance of money.His clothes had become filthy, torn,stinking rags. Cut on the jagged rocks he could only feel the warm blood oozing from his wounds :-x . He dreamt of being up on the surface running around with his friends( who were also down the mine with him) in the glorious sunshine and of being sat at home with his ever loving family and a cosy fire. Working down the dusty, dark, terrifying pitt was a daily occurence, just like going to school for us, part of everyday life . Would you like to do this job?
Comment 12 Comment by Hal S on 19 Nov 12 at 6:48pm | Quote this comment
Down in the dirty, dark coal mine, a lonely miner hacked away at the black diamonds in the rock face whilst wiping away almost black sweat from his filthy forehead. His trousers were horribly blood stained from his bleeding knees while he was crawling on the jagged stone floor. He wished that he had never signed up for the job in the first place. Although he was earning money he still would rather starve to death than get so little reward. :D
Comment 13 Comment by Teya Q on 19 Nov 12 at 8:31pm | Quote this comment
Coal Mine Boy[/u
]Dressed in tatty, stained rags scared from all he blood and sweat he put’s into his job, covered in gleaming dusty black coal, John only 14 years old hacked away at the coal made walls. John had worked down the mine for 6 years and knew every inch of the shallow tunnels that made up the Stanmore Pit. In the darkness there was only light created by the flicker of a cheap halfpenny candle. The horses green dung rotting away in the depths of the darkness filled the air with the most hazardous smell but it didn’t matter to John as he was used to it unlike the other boy who were new to the pit life. The choking black soot regularly filled his lungs slashing at his throat forcing him to the floor.


Teya Quinnell :lol:
Comment 14 Comment by Teya Q on 19 Nov 12 at 8:31pm | Quote this comment
Part 2

Although many people thought that John’s job was a living hell, John had always had a dream of working in the mine. The dark shadows were his family and the pit horses his pets. Even the damp, humid atmosphere blanketed him in warmth and reminded him of his mothers hugs.

Teya :lol:
Comment 15 Comment by Lexie T on 20 Nov 12 at 4:13pm | Quote this comment
this muddy faced liked boy was forced to go down the mine it was damp cold and of course smelly he was cutting coil with something in his hand. Down the mine there was wet moss covered all over the wall and rats running away. This boy had to wear knee proctecters so that when he is crawling about down there it will not hert his knees. He had dirty stained trousers and a blacked stained tea-shirt as well this boy was very tired working down there and maybe all the other children,men and women who worked down there.but i bet when he gets home he would sit next to the roasting hot burning fire and snuggle up with his family and have a lovley sleep after his long day at work. :zzz
Comment 16 Comment by Archie Smart on 20 Nov 12 at 7:31pm | Quote this comment
Ninety feet underground, the exhausted man was busy hacking out chunks of wet coal from the uneven wall with just a small metal pickaxe to aid him. He would then throw them into a iron dram ready to be elevated in the squeaky lift up into the sunny bright outside world.The man's face shows signs of hard work and toil, what difficult, dusty confined conditions to have to tolerate day after day with not much pay to show for his efforts.
:roll:
Comment 17 Comment by Leo W on 20 Nov 12 at 8:23pm | Quote this comment
I, a 24 year old, tramp-like, sleep-deprived man creeped reluctantly down into the ever deeper coal mine.some men were running, and it looked like I was the only one to point out, it was crazy. Why run only to be swallowed into the grim mass of black shiny coal that looked so sinister.The candle-lit tunnel was steamy and confined. Swinging my pick back,almost hitting the wall behind, I slammed it into the hard, jet-black rock and it it crumbled into pieces through my grimy fingers. Suddenly the wooden post beside me snapped with a loud Crack and I began crawling for dear life! The atmosphere suddenly became more and more immense and the the cries growing louder and louder. :eek:
Comment 18 Comment by Anna G on 21 Nov 12 at 4:19pm | Quote this comment
Dangerous and damp, the mine was cold; the darkness was closing in on me; the only light was a dimly-lit candle, along the narrow tunnel. Oh, how I missed mother and baby Susan in her perambulator! With the air so unbearably dusty (I was choking all the time) and the sweat I tried to wipe from my forehead as I shoveled the coal from the walls,it was almost impossible to stand . Hour by hour I worked, surrounded by other men and their children,mining away. Water dripped from the crumbling walls consequently ,now and again, I had to add another plank so as not to let it fall on my head. It was unfair to leave a helpless child, like myself,exploding coal-ridden walls in a dark, damp, candle-lit tunnel! But that was life!
Comment 19 Comment by Esme K on 21 Nov 12 at 6:38pm | Quote this comment
Daniel Tuggings was a young skinny boy with an ordinary life, till he became older and had to work in a coal mine. He had brown smooth hair and a pailed-skinned face, his clothes were dirty and ragged down in the coal mine. After working in the coal mine, his legs were bleeding and his eyes were peeling after crying of pain. Down in the coal mine it was cold, damp, dust-covered and jet-black. As he sat down he saw the rats steal his snack box and heard the banging, and the screaming of people working as hard as they can.
Comment 20 Comment by Sarah C on 21 Nov 12 at 6:47pm | Quote this comment
I looked down the endless tunnel towards the black treasures trapped in the dilapidated walls. I can still remember my fathers distraught expresion when he told me the tragic news, my brother had died in a fatal explosion down the mine. The first time I went down the mine was when I was seven it looked like a place in nightmares, slaving in darkness for twelve hours a day. The winter is the time every miner dreads the perishing cold as water drips down your back. There are thousands of miners killed every month, the most you can hope for is to stay alive.
Comment 21 Comment by Jasmine H on 21 Nov 12 at 7:58pm | Quote this comment
in the cold and scary mine i can hear huffing and puffing of tired miners working for there lives . rat's scurrying at my feet . suddenly i heard a loud crash and then a scream, the scream so familiar
like my own, then I realised it was my own twin sister Nancy. Two cold tears ran down my sooty face.

I spent hours and hours not knowing if she was dead or alive, soon a worried looking miner walked over to me and said "she's only just alive she wants you ''. I ran over and bent down, she whispered in my ear then her eyes shut.
Comment 22 Comment by Lexie T on 21 Nov 12 at 9:46pm | Quote this comment
This boy has be forced to go and work down the mine it is cold,smelly and of corse muddy you can tell on the mans face all you could hear was rat running and people working they had to where stabled sheos because the floor were wet and had very steep slops like what the young boy is wearing. On top of his head was wood so that the roof would not crush on him and make him die because lots of people died down in the mind it was very dangerous of all. The wall were covered in wet moss and dripping wet on to my tied eyes. My top was very stained and when I get home I will sit next to the roasting hot burning fire and got to sleep
Comment 23 Comment by Oliver M on 24 Nov 12 at 1:51pm | Quote this comment
In the depths of the mine I could hear rats scuttling around me. Blindly, I groped for the small fragments of the jagged rusted coal. I was cramped in a tiny space, I felt chilled to the bone. I wasn't sure how long I had been down there that day, but it felt like endless years. According to my knowledge, I had been working in the mine for at least twenty years, since I was eight years old. Not only was it miserable, it was a deadly dangerous place to work. Every 3 minutes there would be an accident of some sort. Who knew how long I would survive?
Comment 24 Comment by Finlay E on 25 Nov 12 at 11:17am | Quote this comment
In the dark mud-covered mine life is tererball every single second you can here the shouting of tired lonly men it`s like a horrerball nightmare that you can`t wake up from.
Comment 25 Comment by Denny P on 25 Nov 12 at 8:17pm | Quote this comment
The miners pick chiseled at the gloomy caged in walls around. Weeping a vast river of cold and lifeless tears. Lying on the debris floors of the mine clutching his snack box in fear. A clash of metal struck his heart like lightening. The walls crumbling caging him in. A loud crack as the last piece of wood came plumiting down towards him. The mine shaft collapses.

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