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Secca and the Mysterious Demon

In the year 1020AD in a clearing in a British forest there was a village where people went about their daily business. Amongst them there was a stableman named Secca. It was rumoured that 27 years ago Secca was found up a tree in the forest by one of the local towns folk, who was more than happy to take him in. Secca had short brown hair, deep blue eyes, a small nose and a mouth full of shiny white teeth. He excelled and was very skilled in anything that he put his hand to; horse riding, archery, swords, spears and all sports. Secca was well know amongst the town and was good at making people feel safe because of his outstanding hunting skills (everyone knew he was a good hunter because he always came home with trophies in the form of an dead animals).

He had two good friends called Milo and Zachra, who were also amazingly skilled in hunting, so that is what they often did together as a group. 

One fine day they all decided to go hunting for wild boar and deer which lived in the sunny surrounding forest areas. Later that evening, they were all sitting down beside their fire, 17 miles away from the village, with a wild boar roasting on top of it. Suddenly they heard a twig snap and a mysterious black figure materialised out of the dark gloomy shadows of the great willow tree, about 20 metres away, images flashed in Secca’s head of the same figure speaking to him when he was young, too young to remember clearly, but some how he did he remembered the black figure climbing down the tree saying, "I will come back some day; I will come back to get you and tell you what you really are." Secca stood there next to Milo and Zachra, all clutching their swords, waiting...

"What do you want?" shouted Secca, in a loud booming voice which he didn’t even know he had. The figure remained calm, like he was used to people shouting at him.
“You are now of age to use your powers for good not evil.”
“What powers?" asked Secca
“You will find out when you try to use them.” POOF! The hooded man disappeared.

All three were completely stunned and they packed up their camp site with not a moment to lose.

As they were nearing the village they saw that a fire had started and was threatening the villages’ safety. The three friends stood staring in silence.

“Secca use your new found powers and stop this,” said Zachra.

Secca stood and wondered what he was supposed to do. He stared at the fire with his hands out, his eyes seemed to change to a bright orange and the fire stopped. Secca had found his powers...

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Mr Herring on 16 Feb 12 at 6:59pm | Quote this comment
Great imagination Harry! I love the way you set the scene by telling us the year is 1020AD, and then introduce a mysterious character with a hidden past and some sort of power. I have tweaked the ending so that rather than saying, '...they all lived happily ever after' it leaves the reader wanting to find out what happens next. What do you think?
Comment 2 Comment by Mr Ryan on 17 Feb 12 at 8:48am | Quote this comment
Nice work, Harry!

Tickle pink this:

"...and a mysterious black figure materialised out of the dark gloomy shadows..."

A brilliantly chosen powerful verb there: 'materialised'.

My growing green for you would be to take care with the use of the comma as some of the sentences are getting longer and longer due to commas. The true test of the words between 2 commas is that the rest of the sentence should still make sense when you take these words out (which means that this bit is not that important to the rest of the sentence- this is what 'subordinate' means when we talk about 'subordinate clauses' in complex sentences!)

I think trying to come up with a good ending is always tricky, but Mr Herring has given you a big hint in that we don't always need to tell the reader everything; sometimes it's good to finish on a note of uncertainty and keep the reader guessing what might have happened!
Comment 3 Comment by Alfie G on 24 Feb 12 at 9:47am | Quote this comment
Great story Harry, the way Secca can stop fire's is awesome. :lol:

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