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Ever wanted to meet the Queen?

“I wonder what the Queen is really like,” exclaimed Jim. Jim is my brother, the stupidest person in the whole of England. If he got a job it would be a miracle (or just the people who gave him the job were very very desperate) “Maybe she is a spy or an ice cream lady or a…” Jim paused, “So the Queen of England spends her spare time selling ice creams to snotty little kids!” Jim opened his mouth to speak again when there was a knock…knock…knock. “Who is it?” asked Jim. “Maybe if you opened the door you would find out,” I said in the most sarcastic voice I could do. Jim waddled over towards the door of the flat. He opened the door and looked out, “No one there must be those prankster kids again.” He was just about to close the door when someone kicked his leg - “Ow” he screeched. He looked down and there was a dwarf, his head was so bold and shiny I wouldn’t be surprised if someone had mistaken him for a walking egg! “Can I help you?” asked Jim looking rather surprised at the little man. “Yes you may, her majesty the Queen has been receiving death threats, may I come in?” He spoke in a deep slow voice that was a bit hard to understand. “Em… Ok I guess,” I said. He sat on the sofa. “I understand that you have had some experience in the police force, am I right?” Well Jim did opened the bank door for the robbers and let a three year old boy hold his gun (fully loaded and primed) for the day, seven people were injured and he got thrown out but I said nothing. “So” he continued “We think this Assassination will take place at the Christmas speech” “That’s in two weeks,” said Jim. “We are taking all necessary precautions so need someone in disqiuse to help get them to prison where they belong." “I am sure they can walk themselves in to a sell” said Jim. “ Shut up you idiot!” I said. The dwarf looked at him - he was probably starting to reconsider letting us anywhere near the Queen. “Then I will leave you two to get on with your day.” He handed me a slip of paper. “Good day” he said as he closed the door. I looked at the paper and it said “Be at the swan at 10:00 pm if you want to help her majesty.” “Jim," I said, "ever wanted to meet the Queen?”

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