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My Time Lapse by Daisy T

In English we have been looking at time lapse, here is part of my work from today's lesson...

When the old man stepped into the abandoned factory he could hear the cracked floorboards creek under his worn out feet. He could smell the old smoke come out from the top the factory. As he looked up, he could see the coal-black tiles hanging down from the roof. Additionally, he could feel the ice-cold air, that came though the window, rush past his face. It was at that moment he spotted a gold ring glistening and he began to think back...

 

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Miss Gleeson on 23 Jan 14 at 12:49pm | Quote this comment
A fantastic use of hyphenated adjectives Daisy! I particularly like 'coal-black tiles'; this creates great imagery for your reader :-)

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