Don't Forget...

....school term ends on Friday 15th December at 2.30pm

Yesterday at 3:42pm

 “Let me out, let me out!” the young boy yelled hoarsely, although he knew all hope was lost. His name was Tom and he had been locked in the P.E cupboard while the school was being evacuated! He had been shouting for 4 hours now so he decided to give in and accept that there was no chance of escape. None at all. He was awoken from his trance by the drone of a Messerschmitt getting closer. His light blue eyes widened in fear, and he shrunk deeper and deeper into the P.E equipment that lay over him. Suddenly the P.E cupboard gave a violent shudder as a bomb thudded into the school close by like a bullet piercing someone’s body. The noises grew louder. And louder. And closer.                    And closer. . . 

 Fred was woken by someone vigorously shaking him. “Fred, you’ll be late for school!” his Mum whispered urgently.

 Later at school Fred was thinking hard about the dream he had had. Was it real? Where was it set? These were just some of the many thoughts circling his head like sharks. He was willing school to finish quickly but, seemingly, all that happened was that the hands on the clocks went around in slow motion!

 When school eventually finished Fred went straight to his room and waited till nightfall. Once his Mum had gone to bed he waited and waited; nothing happened. All he could hear was the faint snores of his mother.

 At exactly 12:30pm he heard an eerie rustling, and then in a blink of an eye a pale ghost appeared. An exact replica of the boy in his dream! “I have come back for a picture of my family!” said the ghost mysteriously. “What do you mean?” replied Fred, who was confused. “It is hidden underneath the floorboards in the kitchen. And you, only you can find them!” Then he was gone.

The next morning he pretended he had a stomach ache and stayed at home. As soon as his Mum had driven off to work in the battered old Toyota, he pulled off the floorboards. Lying there unmarked was a black and white picture of a smiling family! With delicate fingers he pulled it out and took it up to his bedroom.

That night he set his alarm for 12:28pm and went to sleep. When he was woken up by the muffled sound of his alarm he picked up the picture and studied the family. He wished he could have a family like that. Suddenly a ghost appeared wearing a massive grin on his face. “Thank you so much!” he said as he took the picture from Fred. “One day I will repay you for your kindness.” The ghost shouted as he faded away. Fred was glowing with pride at what he had done and did so for the rest of his life. . .


By Hayden Brewer
 

Comments that people have made about this blog post

Comment 1 Comment by Mr Ryan on 29 May 12 at 8:56am | Quote this comment
Hayden, I can see why you managed to win the competition. An excellent entry. Your sentence lengths are well controlled and create just the right effect on the reader, along with some well chosen vocabulary.

Congratulations and well done! 8)
Comment 2 Comment by Mr Brooks on 29 May 12 at 6:21pm | Quote this comment
Fantastic writing Hayden. I love the clever way that we build a picture of Fred's life from the subtle hints, e.g. "old battered Toyota." and the use of the short sentences at the end of the dream. Well done.
Comment 3 Comment by Teya Q on 24 Jun 12 at 9:41am | Quote this comment
well done the story is great :D

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